Monday, November 26, 2012

Clinging to Thankfulness

More often than I would like to admit I find myself wanting things I don't have.  Or wanting more of the things I do have.  My Mom has left and with her leaving came lots of tears and that nagging feeling of being alone.  Not that I don't have Ryan and not that he isn't pretty much the most kind, genuine, patient, and caring person I have ever met, seriously.  BUT, we are made for community(which means multiple people) and there was something about having my Mom close by that made life a little more comfortable.  Someone else's shoulder to cry on and help me process my craziness/insecurities.  It's not really fair that usually R has to do this alone(poor guy!), so it was awesome having both of my favorites living under the same roof!

The night before my Mom left, I found myself wide awake thinking about our month together.  The thought of waiting another year before being with my Mom again began to weigh heavily on my heart.  I could feel that burning in my throat that comes before the tears so I started praying.  God began to speak to my heart there in that hotel room in Delhi.  I am not sure if I have always been like this, or if just lately I have had the tendency to dwell on the difficult.  Ugh, pessimist!  I dwell on how hard life is, how much I miss my friends and family, how much I miss Mexican food, ect.  I have forgotten to remember(is that a weird sentence..."forgotten to remember") all the good things that God has done.  I guess that is why over and over the scriptures constantly call us to remember the things God has done for his people.  In light of that, I am clinging to thankfulness.  I want to remember! Here are some of the things I am thankful for(some serious, some not so serious).

1.  I am thankful for my Mom being here to help us get our house ready for our home study(cleaning and decorating) and thankful for her presence and comfort when we found out the wait is going to be much longer than we expected.  

2.  I am thankful for the first time my Mom tried on Indian cloths.  It consisted of us both almost on the floor of the dressing room laughing because the pants were so huge on her.  

3.  I am thankful for our hours upon hours of Facebook stalking together.  Ah, Facebook, what would we do without you? 

4.  I am thankful my Mom got to meet all our friends and how special she became to them.  

5.  I am thankful that my Mom has walked the streets we walk, rode the rickshaws we ride, and eaten the food we eat.  She understands where we live now.  

6.  I am thankful she washed our dishes...EVERY day!

7.  I am thankful she was able to stay a whole month.  I mean who really gets to do that and still keep their job??  

8.  I am thankful she got to go to a wedding with us and experience our favorite day with our Indian friends.  

9.  I am thankful that on that same day, when I put her on a motorcycle with some guy that I don't know, she ended up at that wedding in one piece :)

10.  I am thankful she was healthy the whole time she was here...unfortunately she wasn't when she got home.  But, thankful she had her bathroom with her western toilet to be sick in.  Ugh, horrible!

11.  I am thankful that although there were mice in her presence at different times(i.e. in the same room), she was unaware they were close by.  :)

12.  I am thankful she has such an adventurous spirit and is willing to try almost anything.

I could go on and on but most of all:

13.  I am so thankful to have a Mom that loves so unconditionally,  is continuously encouraging, and is one of the best listeners I know. 

Although my emotions tempt me to forget, I am praying God gives me the strength to cling to thankfulness.

1 comment:

  1. Kristin! This is so sweet and so special! I am soooo happy that you guys got to spend that time together. We miss and pray and think about you every day! Counting the days until we can see you guys... Love you! Thankful for you both! xoxoxoxoxo