When I first moved to Greece in a few years back, I remember sitting in a meeting with one of the leaders of our organization. He talked to me about the difference between thriving and surviving in a new culture. That talk has stuck with me, especially now that we are living in a culture that is even more different than Greece was.
This past week has been a roller coaster for me(which unfortunately means for Ryan also :( .... One day I feel total peace about being here. I feel pumped for another day of language, excited to figure out how to make life work here, and long to be a blessing to our community. Then the next day I will wake up and feel like I have been smacked in the face with how different everything is and the thought of sleeping all day and watching netflix sounds more appealing than the thought of leaving my apartment.
It seems as if I have been in the surviving stage for much to long. I want to skip all this and get on with the thriving, the doing. I know God has lead us here for a reason and I want to get to it! Do you ever feel that way? Like, all the details of your heart changing and becoming more humble and patient are slowing you down when you want to get on to the important stuff!! Yeah, that is how I feel. I know God is using all this to humble me, but I am going down kicking and screaming. I am not a quick learner and most people probably wouldn't describe humility one of my highest attributes. It's not really an character trait I have longed for...I(honestly) don't pick up books on humility when I want a good read. HOWEVER, God seems to think it is a very important thing and Jesus took the most humble form possible and walked in constant humility.
So, I am realizing how not Christ-like I really am. It is not a fun process, but a good and purifying one. I would love your prayers in this. I think it is going to be a long, character changing process and under all my pride and selfishness, I do really long for my life to glorify God.
Right now, still in the surviving stage. Not sure what the thriving stage will look or feel like, or if I will even know when I am in it. But, I will cling to the fact that God is a good and loving Father and Jesus has inaugurated(yes, I have been reading N.T. Wright lately :), a new kingdom of light and peace. I am also pretty sure that kingdom will be full of humble people.
This past week has been a roller coaster for me(which unfortunately means for Ryan also :( .... One day I feel total peace about being here. I feel pumped for another day of language, excited to figure out how to make life work here, and long to be a blessing to our community. Then the next day I will wake up and feel like I have been smacked in the face with how different everything is and the thought of sleeping all day and watching netflix sounds more appealing than the thought of leaving my apartment.
It seems as if I have been in the surviving stage for much to long. I want to skip all this and get on with the thriving, the doing. I know God has lead us here for a reason and I want to get to it! Do you ever feel that way? Like, all the details of your heart changing and becoming more humble and patient are slowing you down when you want to get on to the important stuff!! Yeah, that is how I feel. I know God is using all this to humble me, but I am going down kicking and screaming. I am not a quick learner and most people probably wouldn't describe humility one of my highest attributes. It's not really an character trait I have longed for...I(honestly) don't pick up books on humility when I want a good read. HOWEVER, God seems to think it is a very important thing and Jesus took the most humble form possible and walked in constant humility.
So, I am realizing how not Christ-like I really am. It is not a fun process, but a good and purifying one. I would love your prayers in this. I think it is going to be a long, character changing process and under all my pride and selfishness, I do really long for my life to glorify God.
Right now, still in the surviving stage. Not sure what the thriving stage will look or feel like, or if I will even know when I am in it. But, I will cling to the fact that God is a good and loving Father and Jesus has inaugurated(yes, I have been reading N.T. Wright lately :), a new kingdom of light and peace. I am also pretty sure that kingdom will be full of humble people.
God Bless you girl....He will honor your faithfulness in this! All He wants you to do is lean on Him....He knows you can't do this on your own. He will meet you where you are, just keep asking Him for each breath! I can totally relate to what you are saying....I didn't go to another country, I kinda brought one home with my two new girls. And hated the fact that most days I am surviving and not thriving. But it will come. Something else that helps me too is to just praise praise praise...when nothing else around you seems real or good or worth it, its so comforting (to me anyway) to praise the One who I know is good and worth it and real. Does that make sense? Love to you and I'm praying for you!!
ReplyDeleteKatie Patel
thomas has a phrase that i love. it helps me put things into perspective . . . . ministry is "being" not "doing." that is hard for me because i am good at doing:) hahahaha. "being" . . . now that is a lifetime deal. and that might be what God was talking about when he asked us to bear fruit -- not deeds but the fruit of becoming. what if becoming was the only plan God had for you right now??? i will pray for you:) love to read your posts.
ReplyDeleteahhhh. how i can relate to this. unfortunately for someone that has a departure date in mind it makes it easier to get up and get going but i have scummed many days to "just needing a day" and watching netflix to feel normal again. ill be praying that these days are less and less and few and few. you will find you're nitch. you will find your spot. sometimes God is teaching us so much during the preparation. have faith persevere on. romans 5:3-5 "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
ReplyDeleteKristin, I also love reading your thoughts, struggles and journey of faith! So encouraging and enlightening to know that Jesus' Kingdom is coming through imperfect people and imperfect situations, and in large part by communicating what needs to be focused on and prayed over.
ReplyDeleteMay the love, bond and community between you and R continue to grow in order to stir and spur one another on when times get tough. May the Spirit give you wisdom and trust to know that all this is meant for His glory and that He will endure you both through it!
My prayer for you is Colossians 1: 11&12
"May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light."
And an encouragement about our Rescuer! Hebrews 2:10
"For it twas fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering."
Cant wait to partner and learn with yall!!!