Language Learning and Idols

Our Language Helpers.  The girl on the left is our nurturer for phase 1, and the girl on the right is the Tardy's phase 2 nurturer.

In my last post, I shared the "facts" of our language learning.  In this post, I want to vulnerably share some of my "emotions" of language/culture  learning.

Everyone knows that situations that break us out of our comfort zones cause both stress and growth.  Stressful growth..not my favorite thing.  Many of the things I am learning about myself are not pretty, they are in fact sinful and ugly...please don't judge me  :)    God has been showing me places of my heart that he wants to change (and Ryan has been used in that process as well..as in we had a small intervention after I cried multiple days in a row).

These are a couple things I am learning:

1.  I hate the word dumb.  I don't want to say dumb things, I don't want people to think I am dumb, I don't want to look dumb, I don't want my language teachers to think I am dumb, I don't want the other Americans in my class to think I am dumb, pretty much I don't want my name and the word dumb anywhere in the same sentence.

The root of this is definitely pride and in my own culture and language I could nicely hide this ugly pride, but not putting myself into situations where I had to face the fact that I might look dumb.  However, pretty much everytime I try to speak Hindi, I appear dumb.  So I am face to face with my gross pride.

2.  I want people to like me.  I need people to like me.  If people don't like me it deeply disturbs me and makes my stomach hurt.  This is pretty problematic here because although I usually think I can read people pretty well, being in a new culture with a totally different language kinda throws that reading people stuff out the window.  Sometimes you smile at someone and they glare back at you, or sometimes you smile at someone and then they smile back...but wait maybe they are laughting at you.  At this point there is really no way for me to know if someone likes me or not, and it drives me a little crazy.

After about 2 weeks of all these things bubbling at the surface of my emotions and Ryan bearing the brundt of my stress.  I hate how we take our stress out on the people who deserve it the least!  Ryan and I had a long talk(well I cried/talked he listened/talked and came to the heart of it all.

The truth is I have approval issues.  I want man's approval.  I think I need man's approval to make me feel okay.  Tim Keller (one of my favorite pastor/teachers) has written a book called "Counterfiet Gods" and he talks about things that become idols in our lives.  These idols consume us and we do everything we can to satisfy them.  I have the idol of approval.  At the loss of other things like reading my bible, praying, being nice to Ryan...I had to study!  I had to make sure I was doing good with language because that is how I was finding approval.  Yeah, really gross.

Thankfully, the good news is the gospel!  GOD actually approves of me(really God the all knowing, all powerful) he approves of me, not if I do well at language or if a lot of people like me or if I do not appear dumb.  He appproves of me because Jesus covered me with his sacrifice.  Jesus took all the disapproval, hate, consequences of not being good enough...he took all that and he took the punishment for it.  God looks at me and he approves of me.  That is pretty world shaking and I was totally not meditating on that truth.  Instead, I was trying to satisfy some stupid approval idol and it was killing me. (and Ryan!)

It was bad, but God's patience and refining is good.

It is not all gone, even as I write this I think about how I should be studying(even thought I already studied for the amount of time I said I was going to study today).....If only my eyes stayed continually focused on Jesus.

PS  I think studying is good and important.  But, it is good and important so I can learn to speak Hindi and learn this culture, NOT so that I will not appear dumb or so that people will like me.  There is a big different in these two.  One is totally about me, and one is about other people.

Well, this is really long.  I hope somehow my craziness can encourage someone out there  :)

Language Learning the details

We have finished two weeks (50 hours) of our Hindi/Urdu language program and we are FLUENT!  Haha yeah right :)  That would be awesome if it was true....

The program we are using is called the Growing Participator Approach.  It is based on the process children naturally learn language.  Children learn by lots of exposure and repetition and are able to understand much more than they are able to speak.

It is based on the idea that  language works in our brain like an ice-burg as we develop.  Children have heard thousands of words, commands, ect by the time they are a year old.  So they understand a lot, but the tip of the ice-burg(what they are able to communicate verbally) is still very small.  As they develop, the words under the water of the ice-burg naturally begin to come to the surface and eventually you have a toddler who is chatting away.  I know any of you that have children have seen this happen.  One month your child can only say a few words, then a few moths later it seems like they are talking up a storm!

So what do we actually do in order to learn a new language in that way??  Well, the first week and a half we didn't speak at all.  Our language nurturer(use the word nurturer- like a parent with a child) speaks to us only in Hindi/Urdu and shows us pictures/objects that are common things we see or use everyday.  She tells us to sit, stand, walk, run, jump and we watch her do it and then try to mimic what she does by the words she uses as she does these actions.   We do many activities with lots of repetition.

The first week we were exposed to around 400 new words.  This doesn't mean we "know" these words or can speak them, but we are beginning to recognize them when used.

The last half of our second week, we began to speak.  We did not learn as many new words, but began to try to use the words we had been hearing repeatedly.  So we told each other to sit, stand, jump, point to the (...) picture/object.

We are in phase one"Here-and-Now Phase", which will last one month.  So for a few more weeks we will continue to use words we have been learning and add new words to the ice-burg :)  The goal is to learn 800-1,000 words in phase 1.  Research shows that if you have around  10,000 words  in a language you are fluent.

After phase 1, we will move on to phase 2 "Story Building Phase" and it will last 2 months.  Then we will move to Kanpur and begin phase 3!

Ryan and I are enjoying this approach so far, but it is HARD WORK!  I am not sure I have ever used my brain this much....EVER!  I am amazed by people that speak multiple languages....








All the objects we learned our first week!

Not that Different

There are so many things about this culture that are different and new it can often feel overwhelming at times. It is easy to focus on differences, but I really don't want to be that person.  I want to be a person that looks for bridges and ways to understand and connect.  The other night I was gently reminded that even if people grow up in totally different worlds there are some things that remain the same.....

I have met a lady(Yasmeen) here and she is teaching me to read and write Hindi(the script).  She has been married for 3 years and is 30.  I have been married for 2 years and am 29.  I thought these would be our main points of sameness, but I have been surprised that we have much more in common.  I have been praying the God would give me a sense of home in the midst of foreign and that God would help me feel like I have a connection with some women here.  God is so good and is answering both of those prayers.

The other night I was talking with Yasmeen about her weekend.  I asked her what she does on the weekends and she told me they are pretty much the same as all the other days of the week.  Nothing really special happens.  Then she got this sparkle in her eye and said, "But when I go visit my mother's house(she will go in March) everyday is special!  My mother makes everything special for me."  Then we talked about how much we love and miss our mothers.  It was a sweet time with her and a great reminder of what a blessing my own mother is to me.  My Mom has and will always be one of my best friends, and she somehow has the ability to make me feel that she cares about all the details of my life.  "She makes everything special for me." ......  So, I guess we are not that different after all  :)

Schools in Kanpur

While we were in Kanpur for a few days last week, we were invited to visit a couple schools.  I was really excited to be able to visit a girls school.  In India they have government schools which are public and free and they also have private school which cost.  I am positive there are many other types of schools in India, but that is all I know about so far :)

We visited a boys government school and a girls private school(where the medium for the older students is English, so this means it is taught in English).  The principals of both schools sat down with us and gave us chai(hot tea) to drink and answered some of our questions about their schools.  We learned so much and are so thankful for their hospitality and openness.

Both of these schools are in a poorer area of the city and are predominantly Muslim.  The population of the boys school is an even poorer class of students than the girls school because it is free.  The girls school costs around 250 rupees a month.  This is roughly $4.80...yeah 4 dollars and 80 cents a MONTH! Many of the families in this area can not afford to pay that.

One thing I noticed in these schools was the level of respect for teachers and adults.  When the teacher enters the classroom the entire class stands and is not allowed to sit down until instructed to by the teacher.  Also, when a student wants to answer a question they must stand up and address the teacher.  They also have a big wooden stick at the front of the class in case of discipline problems.  This was all, MUCH different than when I substitute taught in low income areas of Austin.

We asked both of the principles what is the biggest challenge they face overseeing their schools.

For the boys school:

The principal said that it is hard to motivate his students.  Most of them will eventually work in the same profession as their fathers.  They see no need for education because they know what job they will do when they get older.  He says this tends to keep many of them in a cycle of poverty because they don't have very high expectations.  This, of course, is not the case for all his students and they actually have some students go on to University and even to the prestigious IIT (Indian Institute of Technology), but many are stuck in the cycle of poverty.

He also said their parents are not that involved in their children's education.

For the girls school:

The principles at this school face a different set of problems.  Because this is a private school and parents pay for their girls to go they are more involved and usually a bit more educated themselves.  The girls also want to learn and many of them have big dreams of becoming doctors, engineers, and lawyers.  However, the principles told us that many of these girls do not go on to college or careers because they get married and have children.

So those are some of the things we learned about schools in Kanpur.  It is really interesting how some of the problems are really similar to problems in American schools and some are totally different.

We didn't get any pictures at the boys school, but here are some pics from the girls school:



This is a handicraft class.  They learn to sew and do small handicrafts.  I wish I would have learned to sew in middle school.

A highschool class.  This girl was standing up to answer a question and she just kept standing while we took the picture.

A view of the school, it is 3 stories.

clear up on water

After my last post about water, I had a really sweet friend text me from America asking if she could buy us a water filter.  So I thought I should clear some things up.  We do have a water filter in our apartment.  It is a reverse osmosis filter that we use for drinking water, cooking, and brushing our teeth.  I think that many wealthier families in India have these in their homes.  The other day I even saw a reverse osmosis filter in the home of a family that lives in our neighborhood.  They are definitely not wealthy, but are teachers so they have a stable income.

It is hard living in a country with so much poverty and need surrounding you but still having all the things you need(and WAY more).  It is something I don't quite know what to do with emotionally......



Our water:

A few blocks away....

Water and other Random things

Change is hard.  Most often, it is good and beneficial to refining a person.  But, oh man it is hard.

This past week we were a part of some training and one of the teachers talked about when the Israelites left Egypt during the Exodus.  They were following God into a land that they didn't know and time after time God provided for them and showed them his power and provision.  HOWEVER, time after time they grumbled and did not trust God.

One part of the story that stood out to me is in Exodus 15:22 when they found no water to drink.  Then they found water and it was to bitter to drink.  Wow, if there is one thing I have taken for granted my entire life, it is having clean water.  Access to clean water is nothing to take for granted here.  The water that comes out of our faucets is totally undrinkable.  It is filled with bacteria and parasites :0

Apparently, the World Bank estimates that 23% of communicable diseases in India are related to unsafe water.  Diarrhea alone causes more than 1,600 deaths daily-the same as if eight 200-person jumbo jets crashed in to the ground each day.  Most of these daily deaths are children under 5 years old.

I don't write this to make people feel guilty or have pity on India, there are actually many things we could learn from the people here.  I just think God is teaching me and helping me dream of what the world would look like if there was clean water, better education,(and on and on) and if there were not children needlessly dying everyday.  


God is in India.  He is working and moving and many people here are desperately seeking him.  Please pray for us that we would have wisdom and creativity in our role here and that you would have wisdom in your role wherever you are.  The Kingdom of God IS growing and it is really exciting! 


I really had no idea when I sat down what I should blog about, and honestly I don't think this blog makes much sense(its kinda scattered), but I guess this is just a glimpse of what is going on inside my crazy mind right now....


I do want to more consistently share our experiences about living in India, but right now there is so much I could share I feel a little overwhelmed.  Maybe ya'll could help me out by sending me questions or things you want to know about our lives here in India, India culture, food, travel, ect....  


Just leave a comment.....Thanks, hopefully my next blog post will be better ;)


A few random pics:






This was a first for me.  This toilet doubles as a western style toilet you can sit on and then lift up the lid and it can be used as a squatty.  I think you have to have pretty good balance to squat up there..

 Ryan in front of the Red Fort in Delhi.  It was built from 1639-1648 and was home to the Mughal royal family and served as the capital of the Mughal empire.  

Lauren and me at an Urdu festival.  People kept wanting to take pictures with us....

Getting Henna(Mehndi) done on our hands.

Isn't it Ironic

When Ryan and I first started dating we often talked about countries we wanted to visit and countries we wanted to live in.  One of our conversations went something like this:

Ryan:  So what country would you really like to visit?

Kristin:  I have always wanted to visit Morocco.  It seems mysterious and beautiful.  What about you?

Ryan:  I would really like to visit India.

Kristin:  Yeah, I think I would like to visit India but I don't think I would ever want to LIVE there.

Today marks day three of living in India and I can't imagine wanting to be in any other country more than here.  It is pretty ironic how things work out and how God leads us in ways we never imagine.

Here is a little tour of our temporary(3 months) home in Delhi, and a Sikh parade in our neighborhood that we happened upon.

Enjoy!